As we close the book on 2011, FEI has decided to sum up the year in poetic style. No doubt you've heard the famous "Twas The Night Before Christmas" poem, but we've taken some artistic license and have updated it to reflect the state of the endowment world now. We're sure it will sound better after you've downed that third glass of egg nog.
"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the investment house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a lowly analyst mouse.
The portfolio was on auto pilot without much care,
In hopes a Santa Claus rally would soon be there.
The investment committee members were all snug in their beds,
While visions of well-paid corporate board seats danced in their heads.
And the CIO's eye on his bonus, thinking "Madoff's a rat."
Everyone settling in for a long winter's nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Everyone thought it was Charlie Sheen or some other mad hatter.
Away to the windows everyone took a peek
Was it a rogue trader wetting his beak?
No, it was a man in a red suit, hauling around a big bag of loot.
Campus security arrived pepper spray in-hand, "Stop, we'll shoot!"
But it wasn't anyone from MF Global.
Nor was it Occupy Wall Street, or a nut who was local.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team he gave a whistle.
And away they all flew with the speed of a nuclear missile.
But we heard a sound that might help our portfolio's plight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"