By now you've probably heard the news about the University of Texas Investment Management Company's decision to convert its gold allocation into bullion, taking delivery of 6,643 bars worth more than $991 million. The yellow stuff is being stored in a warehouse in New York, and while it's a good currency hedge for the school, we've come up with some alternative ideas on how to use the new stockpile.
ROYAL WEDDING GIFT: If the boys down in Texas want an invite to the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, maybe they can induce the Royal Family to open up a spot with the promise of a nifty gift. So what if President Barack Obama was not invited? UTIMCO can represent the U.S. in exchange for some his-and-her gilded toothbrushes.
REMEMBER THE ALAMO: What better way to commemorate the 175th anniversary of the Battle of the Alamo than to make a recreation out of gold? Just think of the fun of carving out a coonskin cap on a golden Davey Crocket. Just be sure to sweep up the dust carefully, as it can be useful to foot the electric bill for the warehouse.
FONDUE PARTY: Forget melting food, whip out the disco balls and eight-tracks for some liquid gold fun. When it's done, take a swim. Let's see Michael Phelps butterfly through a gold-filled pool. If you save a bar or two from the melting pot, he'd probably do it.
CHALLENGE BERNACKE: Let's see who can move faster--the UTIMCO folks moving the gold from one side of the warehouse to another or Federal Reserve Board Chairman Ben Bernacke printing more money. We'd wager a dollar on good old Ben, but it would be worth less by the time the contest is over.
CHOO CHOO CHARLIE: For some fun, the UTIMCO crew could put the gold on a train bound for Texas and invite the descendants of Jesse and Frank James to try and rob it. Make Charlie Sheen the conductor and you've got the makings of a successful cable television reality show.